Oh God so dead yesterday. Went over to Jo's Christmas night (I am all signed up for K-con now! Apparently they plan to use my natural talents in guest liasons, cough cough) and didn't get back home til ... one? And left my wallet there, sigh.

Title: The Case of the Cheating Washerwoman
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes 2009

( I figure after a while the three of them, while not exactly married to each other, have an agreement ... and by that I mean, Watson is totally unaware that he has a wife and a boyfriend who like to gang up on him )

I MEAN REALLY

STRAIGHTEST THING I'VE SEEN IN YEARS

STRAIGHTER THAN STAR TREK

( SHERLOCK HOLMES: THE STORY OF A STRAIGHT DUDE AND HIS STRAIGHT ROOMMATE )

BRB WRITING HOLMES PINING FOREVER.

ALSO I WANT THE SOUNDTRACK, SO SO BAD.

I don't know why, but with all the JIM HAETS XMASSS fics showing up I've somehow got it stuck in my head that actually, Jim loves Christmas, in the way that lonely and scarred people sometimes do. He loves the idea of it. Man, people go and have dinner with people they like, and if they get drunk they're not mean about it! And nobody screams or has icy silences! Shit, it's liked a magical fairy tale! So Bones is always dragging him home to Georgia or whatever and Jim sits in a corner and soaks all this awesome togetherness up like a sponge. They go to church (in my head Bones is a Christmas and Easter Episcopalian and somehow someone on the ship is a LEM so they can have communion as appropriate, or else like a quarter of the ship are ordained ministers of INSERT RELIGION HERE, and that's not counting the dudes who have 'chaplain' on their job description) and sing carols and Jim just eats it up.

Spock also loves Christmas although it turns out that Amanda hadn't been one for big Christmases even before she married a Vulcan, so they used to have quiet days and string garlands to hang outside for the wildlife. Also, and Spock and Sarek like to think nobody noticed this, her husband and son spoiled the hell out of her, so even if she had wanted wild eggnog parties and a billion people over, they would have cheerfully gone along.

Bones just wants to know why and how he became the normal one in this particular relationship. Oh God, when did this become a relationship.



TWELVE DAYS, DAY ONE: MUSIC

NATURALLY YOU WILL USE THESE ONLY FOR PREVIEWING AND WILL BUY AND / OR DELETE AFTER TWENTY FOUR HOURS, RIGHT? RIGHT.

So did you know that Jars of Clay made a Christmas album last year? Neither did I. Featuring the only version of Little Drummer Boy that I've been able to listen to without screaming in rage. (Poooosssibly this is because I have an unnatural love for Jars of Clay.) Also an adorable song about staying in bed all day with the one you love best in all the world.

Jars of Clay - Christmas Songs


And shut up, you know you dance around in your underwear shaking your thang to her music too:

Lady Gaga - Christmas Tree


This is trufax - if Smash Mouth sings a song it becomes 73.823Q% more filled with Awesome. Add Rosie O'Donnell into that and it's possible the universe may actually explode.

Smash Mouth and Rosie O'Donnell - Nuttin' for Christmas


On a more serious note:

O Come O Come Emmanuel

This is one of my favorite Christmas hymns.


If you like the music, let me know!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU DUDES. ♥ I'm glad of every single one of you bastards. If you don't celebrate Christmas, enjoy your day off!

and walked like four miles plus my regularly scheduled work schlepping so I'm going to fall over dead soon, but

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU DUDES. TWELVE DAYS STARTS TOMORROW.

ps i have a terrible ambition to write a really awful slash fanfic directly after seeing sherlock holmes tomorrow. good idea? y/n

can't get new MP3 player to pay attention to meeee and I can't get it to format from the GUI, and I'm mildly terrified of breaking something horribly if I do something wrong.

Hmm. On the other hand, it was on sale and then I had a coupon, so I'm out like, fourteen bucks. It's rather frustrating since everything else works okay but the mp3s themselves. I mean, seriously, Memorex? Seriously?

Dawn and Jo, matinees are at like, 1:10, 3:50 and 4:30 at Lloyd Center? I'd ruther meet up there because the house is still a heart breaking mess d/t both of us being cranky and also SAD people.

And I think I've said this before, but so help me god, I will write a story about Kirk and Spock's big gay love and never once shall Kirk or Spock call the other th'y'la. SO HELP ME GODDDD.

went to rosehaven christmas party, got bag for roast bird (only twelve pounds, it seems? Still, that's a hell of a lot of turkey) and am current roasting ditto. Mmm turkey liver. Best part of the holidays.

then someone at work called and asked if I could switch shifts Christmas eve and I kind of burst into hilarious laughter over the phone. Well, okay, I didn't, but like hell am I going to work Christmas eve swing shift. I have things to do. Like getting frozen pizzas and working out when and where we're going to watch Robert Downing Jr gaying up the big screen the Sherlock Holmes movie.


ON THAT NOTE:

IF YOU ARE AT ALL INTERESTED IN SHERLOCK HOLMESING, PLEASE LET ME KNOW TONIGHT OR TOMORROW. So far Jo and Dawn and I are going, but I have to get tickets for me at least, since I unno if it's going to be sold out.

Also, I found my god damn mp3 player. In a bag I turned out at least three times. HEY GREMLINS, THAT SHIT AIN'T COOL.

My friends, I am proud (?) to say that I now run an entirely Linux box. I deleted the Windows partition on Kagami -- well Linux is named Spock, so I guess he's renamed for good now? -- last night.

Of course then I had to curse and reinstall Ubuntu entirely because when I deleted the Vista partition Kagami got really confused and refused to boot, and then I had an exciting round of AIIIGH on my hands.

plus, you know, I somehow managed to get two installations of Ubuntu - the new one and the old one - but that's okay, I'll worry that out later.

I'm learning command line. I - I feel like a real nerd now! ;____;

(dudes, did someone link to Graduate Vulcan? There's six new delicious tags in less than 24 hours. yes, I stalk my delicious tags. best way of figuring out popularity I have.)

1. BONES WHERE ARE YOU BONES I NEED YOUR SD CARD SO I CAN TYPE OUT ALL THIS GOD DAMN FIC

2. I don't know why, but in my head McCoy and Spock are always talking about Jim instead of going directly to Jim himself. Like, Spock is totally confused by x that Captain Kirk insists on doing, so he eyebrows McCoy until McCoy is like, JIM'S JUST CRAZY OKAY.
2a. Obviously this is usually very awkward and Bones prays for death.
2b. Then they start ganging up on Jim.
2c. I actually wish more people would write fic where JimSpockBones are like totally platonic bff but still totally space married and have no sense of personal space, like a Japanese boyband trio. ... shit, son, I'd read that fic where they WERE a boyband trio with no sense of personal space. I would read the HELL out of it.
2d. STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT.

3. Ugh, census is really really down (we had two people die on us and two more people are moving out pretty quick) so hours are being cut at work - it's still fine for now but we reeeeaaaallly need to get more people in quickly. Of course the instant we get all settled into the new routine and only have enough staff to do five on day and four on swing, we will end up with a million new residents and ten million more things to do for the current ones.

4. New mp3 player claims it doesn't have a playlist and i suspect that it actually is just being bitchy about not being loaded through Windows Media Player. This is the first time I have ever had a media player that gave a shit, and I am super annoyed, since as it stands I would have to go specially into Vista side to load the son of a bitch up. I have downloaded WINE, however, and am wrestling mightily!

... still need to figure out why Ubuntu is cranky about write permissions on Kagami and Media, tho. May actually delete Vista side entirely eventually, we'll see.

OH MY GOD IT'S TENDOU'S (totally fanon because god forbid they come up with this shit, it's like they think we weren't begging for special episodes where Tendou is like :| all the time and Kagami realizes it at the last second) BIRTHDAY TOMORROW AAAAHHHH

... yes, I decided Tendou's birthday was Dec 21. WHAT BETTER DAY FOR THE ONE WHO WALKS THE PATH OF HEAVEN TO BE BORN THAN ON SUN'S-RETURN.

(Kagami, obv, born on June 21. But Meg, you say, Tendou has this big thing about being the sun and all, why make him born on the shortest day of the year, and Kagami on the longest? See, I say brightly, it was late and Becky and I were very, very tired, and also tomorrow is the day that the sun returns. God forbid Tendou be born on the day when the light begins to fade.)

(Also the one advantage of tiny, tiny fandoms is that you can make shit up to your heart's content and then since you lied about it first, everybody assumes it must be correct.)


Sorry, Star Trek dudes, tomorrow there's going to be Japanese live action retarded dudes in rubber suits porno staring Tendou Souji's Crazy and Kagami Arata's Migraine Face. I figure, if somehow they meet up with nuTrek via Temporal Disturbance and The Hyper Zectors, Bones and Kagami are going to be sitting around getting really drunk and clutching at each other a little. Tendou and Spock ... huh. At least Spock isn't anal about cooking, that would really end in tears.

Mom has offered to buy me something I don't know about if I give her a list, so I am a little less annoyed at life right now.

Secretly I'm just waiting for Stepsister to inevitably buy me a B&N GC and use it to buy the damn Star Trek double disk.

THAT WAS NOT THE POINT.

THE POINT IS.

COULD I GET TWELVE PROMPTS PLEASE? any reasonably current fandom although please remember I have broken up with CLAMP for good now and I'm not very current with Arashi.

Also I have ANOTHER round of the Tri-Met Grunk, fml.

Meg: also I am justifiably annoyed I think
Meg: first amy throws a gift card at me and tells me to buy my own damn present
Meg: and then Mom calls up to find out if I think Amy would like something she saw at Costco and then asks if I ever got a salad spinner and if not, good, because they were on sale for twenty dollars [the Kitchenmaid type, and if you're boggling, it's for fiber preparation]
Meg: and I was like THANKS MOM NOW I KNOW EVERY DAMN THING I'M GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS
Meg: I really did want a salad spinner tho

she says there's a couple little things that she hasn't told me about! still. WHAT THE HELL, FAMILY. Q_Q

Really really tired because I didn't get enough sleep last night - Knit/Purl had their Christmas thing yesterday and I didn't leave til eight, which is actually my bed time. >_> But Cecil's thing is done, and just needs to head south, I can avoid Grandma's other sock until I get information from Mom, which won't be til Christmas, and I sewed up the mitts I was making for me (look on Poupeegirl). I took a rest at home and then went over because I was promised cookies and "tea", which, you know me. It was nice to be with the main crowd again - I've been coming in around three and wandering out about five, but think will rest at home and then go later more often.

Or not, so so tired. Q_Q

Went to Fred Meyer to see about a cheap MP3 player (I tend to be about three generations behind in music players. If it cost more than fifty dollars, I don't want to carry it) and found a Memorex one on sale for twenty bucks with a 20% off coupon. o/ it's 2gig! It has a radio receiver and displays pictures! Someday I will join the 21st century. I can't figure out how to make Ubuntu agree that I have permissions to rename it! FUCKER. Dunno what I'm going to name it yet, I'm thinking Scotty, Amanda or Sarek. ...probably Sarek so it behaves itself.

(Also still cannot figure out how to make Ubuntu admit that I have permissions to read and write to the media division. Ideas? I have the utility to set them but even telling it that the owner is 'meg' gets me blank hateful looks.)

Got to work today and found out one of our dudes had suddenly died last night - he apparently had a heart attack, boo. :( These people, they need to stop DYING on us!

got my work turkey today and I have to say I have never felt safer on the city streets. there's just something about having a 14 lb frozen bird in one's bag to hit a mugger with. I reckon if a mugger survives that being thrown at him like a shot put you've got bigger things to worry about.

went and got my hair cut too, no pictures even though the lady kindly and tediously blew it out straight. She apologized that there was still some curl left. I told her I was shocked she'd got it nearly straight at all. Of course five minutes outside and it was beginning to curl again.

Straight hair feels weird! Some of the instructors at AVEDA are beginning to recognize me -- well, one of them has shown like three different people how to do channel cuts on my hair, so not that much of a surprise.

WOW IS THIS EVER NOT MY FAULT:

( spock has no dignity left, poor bastard )

spock finds out that jim doesn't fuck his friends, which would be fine if jim did not so clearly want to do it ... although maybe spock's projecting. <-- I know this is a dumb fic and has been done before but i still really really want to write it clearly i am insane.


sent off all gifts but cecil's hat and HE got a package of candy-almonds so don't feel guilty about that except then amy up and tells me she'll probably be in eugene for it, so there was five bucks gone, sigh. oh well if i finish cecil's hat will send it down via her and possibly we will have something to open christmas day besides self-bought yarn.

da;ffd;lsjdlas;

So okay. The Turkish bedsocks? Still the cleverest thing ever, among other clevernesses is that it is a very short knit. In fact, they say to knit 24 rows for the plain part of the foot.

Now I'm sure you all are smarter than me and suddenly just realized what is wrong with this picture, especially when I add that they specifically mention that you can probably get another inch or two out of a single skein of the yarn called for. But.

I solemnly swear to you, hand on my heart, that I got gauge. I followed those instructions like a Vulcan at a dancing school, so help me Dog, and I did 24 rows of the god damn foot and I thought, huh, that is a very short foot, but perhaps it stretches, and indeed the pattern says it's supposed to stretch for a snug fit. And I did the toe. And I nearly managed to not totally bungle the toe grafting. And I tried it on.

Dude, dudes, dudes, I wear a size seven shoe, and these are going to a lady with a size six foot. I do not have big feet. I swear to you, God Almighty and all Their angels could not get that thing on my foot if They tried for a week and had a singularity for a shoe horn.

I'll just be over here crying a little into my pillow.

AAAUUGGGGHHHHHH -- although right now I figure I'll mail that one down for Christmas, Mom can figure how much I need to add on (I'm guessing an inch but that means I rip back the entire toe and I don't have time for this bullshit) and she can send it back so I can finish the pair.

... stepfather's hat going awesome, thanks for asking!

I bought myself I'm getting a skein of Happiest Girl sock yarn in I Never Promised You A Rose Garden (... there's a skien of something called 'city of roses' at Yarn Garden and if I don't get it I think I will purely curl up and dieeeee) for Christmas. Any ideas? 462 yards, here's a link to someone's stash: http://www.ravelry.com/people/Raphael/stash/sock-8

The color runs are very very short, like two inches each. I'm thinking about doing Multnomah but I unno, I always end up screwing up feather-and-fan and I have a low, low tolerance of rows-and-rows of garter stitch. (SEE: Feb Lady Sweater)

Just not socks, okay? I want to be able to gloat over it :|

"Am I going to die going to church?"
"Eh. Don't wear dress shoes."

(I can't be the only one who doesn't understand why winter boots nearly always have heels. You would think that the last damn thing you would want walking in snow is heels, right? Granted that they can be cute, but ... why? Fashion you depress me sometimes.)

CHRISTMAS KNITTING: inch and a half on Cecil's hat, first sock almost completed for grandmother. Aigh. Fortunately discovered that I do have a #1 circ so sock is going much faster but am spending a lot of time knitting grimly as I walk on Cecil's hat. Even more fortunately I can get away with not doing anything fancy for the hat as it is variegated Azul Profoundo from Malabrigo and looks classy just plain. Also have terrible feeling that fancy cabled hat would never be worn but put in drawer and gloated over. No, I don't know why I knit for him either. Hats, at least, he's usually willing to wear.

Mom ... does not get hand knits as is allergic to wool and I really don't think I have anything that's not? Wait, I have some Summer Tweed kicking around but only one skein.

Ugh, so tired, only four caregivers at work and I had the hilarious cluster involving our Latest Hospice Person, Our English Professor (who surprisingly was a lamb about his shower, we think he's got a cold) and the lady who takes five minutes to process a request. arrrgh. We have a New Dude for a caregiver and he had the look on his face of someone reconsidering his dislike of working at McDonalds. I hope the poor bastard works out, he's quiet and friendly with the residents.

Are you a sad and lonely panda this Christmas? Does your family suck? Does your work schedule suck? Do you not celebrate it much at all but are bored on your random day off? Do I know you nominally well enough that I wouldn't have to explain to my mother that they seemed like such a nice person on the internet before they killed us all in the movie theatre?

Do you like pizza? Do you like beer? Do you want to see Sherlock Holmes? HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU. it involves buying Meg beer.

We're planning to go see Robert Downing Jr and Jude Law be incredibly gay at each other Sherlock Holmes on Christmas Day and then come back to Chez Twin to talk about how gay the movie was, seriously discuss it afterward. I'm planning on having a pizza (the traditional holiday food of our people) -- and work once dfkal;dsing again has made like Scrooge and bestowed the promise of turkeys on us, so I gotta find some people to eat that fucking bird.

Let me know if you're interested! It'll be sometime in the early afternoonish, as Amy and I are going to Christmas service in the morning.

(when I posted on crackbook mom wanted to know if she could come up since it sounded better than HER plans. I pointed out that watching the movie would involve a bunch of us saying things like OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO GAY FOR EACH OTHER, RITE? RITE. and she said she couldn't come up for CHristmas day but we COULD go see another movie, you know. Princess and Frog, or depending on how awesome it is shall I drag her again?)

also the latest kernel from ubuntu somehow managed to make it so the only thing that worked this morning was the left click and the trackpad after I got into the sesson. No keyboard or right click. I am actually embarassed to admit how long it took me to realize I couldn't type but in my defense I don't do a lot of shit in the morning that is not just going through f-list stuff.

why does being covered by smash mouth make any song automatically five times more awesome, at least?

also i know in theory that my life is sometimes kind of surreal but nothing really brings it home to you like standing in line at the dollar store to pay for a couple of baby doll bottles that magically drain when you tilt them ... for an eighty odd year old woman.

orz

s-she was trying to feed the baby her juice okay

The house we were raised in first appears in Lane County records in 1875 and may have been built before then, according to Mom. Look, it had no foundation (I wish I was joking) and the walls were paper thin, I am used to cold. It used to be fight-for-a-cat and hot bricks in the bed all around.

And I did turn on my heater and now it won't turn OFF all the way which makes me sullen because I hate being too warm. I'm keeping the door open so some of the heat seeps into the rest of the aparto. Amy is still making fun of me for breaking down, although SHE doesn't have a chest cold.

Also, am working on a joke where Bones points out that Spock shares his bed with half the ship's-cats and That Mutt from Engineering and nobody accuses HIM of having 'an intimate relationship' with them, so he can just not suggest anything about Bones and Jim sleeping in the same bed, kthx. Spock opens his mouth, looks at Bones, closes it again.

I got Foucault's Pendulum out of the library about a week back, since I'd seen it mentioned a couple of times. The problem I have with Ecco is not so much the ... literariness? as it is that I just like plainer writing. I mean, besides the fact that I spent half the time wondering if dude was just high or what, when someone writes around a story that much it's hard for me to get invested in it. (I had the same problem with Diamond Age by Neil whatshisface, actually.) Maybe I don't have the attention span for digressions or something, but most of the time if someone's telling a story I want them to just god damn well tell the story with the side notes and all. I mean, it can be effectively done, but ... I think it works better in a 3rd person POV or as a collection of letters and stuff? 1st person rambling doesn't really do it for me. Maybe it was better in the original Italian.

Okay it's still like 18F out there but it's go to the library and return the books I have kicking around or read more god damn Kirk/McCoy (McKirk? sounds like a fast food sandwich) and wonder if we were even watching the same movie. And I took over Amy's black wool peacoat so should be warm enough, although since I always wear long skirts on my days off between that and the inevitable tam on my head I feel like an illustration from 1914.