Ninja fic writing MACHINE.

And this is the Do Not Feed The Animals one, except it's got to be beaten again. >_> It's more or less complete, I'm just not happy with it yet. Suggestions? Ways to make Hinata sound like an actual human being?



DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.

"Um, um," said an anxious voice. "Naruto-kun... this..."

Sasuke blinked at the carefully wrapped lunch, and then at Hinata, whose eyes were screwed up desperately as she held the box out. Which was probably why she'd missed seeing the moron bounding off after a brief exchange of insults with Sasuke. "He isn't here," he said.

"S-Sasuke-kun," squeaked Hinata, and blushed. "Um.."

"He didn't see you," said Sasuke, correctly interpeting this as 'I didn't see you and where did Naruto go?'. All the students of their year were used to translating Hinata's blushes and stammers.

Hinata deflated. "Oh. Um... I'm sorry. Would you like --?"

Sasuke looked at her. Hinata had never been one of the girls buzzing around him, but he had never thought it was because -- "You made it for Naruto?"

Hinata turned crimson and stammered something about it not being very good, but she thought --

Sasuke wasn't listening. Stupid loser Naruto, always getting him mixed up in things like this -- the fact that this was the first and very likely the only time Naruto had or ever would have a girl try to feed him was beside the point. "Wait," he told her, and moved.

--

Hinata squeaked again as Sasuke-kun disappeared. She knew he was good, of course, but it was always a slight shock when someone moved that fast. She clutched the box and wondered miserably why she always failed. It was just like her.

"OW!" came a howl, from a distance. "GODDAMMIT SASUKE WHAT THE HELL? LEGGO! OW!!"

Sasuke-kun materialized in front of her, Naruto-kun in a headlock. "Shuddup," he told Naruto-kun, calmly.

Hinata backed up a step instinctively.

"LEMME GO DAMMIT LOSER I'LL KILL YOU," roared Naruto-kun. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Sasuke-kun jered Naruto-kun's head up and efficiently applied his knuckles to the crown of Naruto-kun's head. "That, you loser, is Hinata. You know her?"

"OF COURSE I DO! SHE'S ALWAYS SITTING IN THE BACK AND -- huh?" Naruto-kun blinked at her. "Hinata? What are you doing here?"

"I'm going to say this in short words, so you understand," said Sasuke-kun, still grinding his fist into Naruto-kun's hair. "See that box? It is filled with food that she made. She was trying to give it to you. You, being a loser, ran off before she could."

Naruto-kun somehow managed to glare up at Sasuke-kun suspiciously. "Nobody makes me lunch."

"First time for everything," said Sasuke-kun, rather callously.

Naruto-kun stared at him, then at Hinata, then at the box, back at Hinata, and then at Sasuke-kun again. ".... Hinata made me lunch?"

"Yes," said Sasuke-kun, thumping his head. "Food. For you. God only knows why."

Hinata wondered uneasily if she should stop Sasuke-kun, but something about the way he stood and Naruto-kun dangled in his grasp suggested that both of them were used to it. "Um... I..."

Naruto-kun looked at her. His eyes were even more intensely blue than normal. "Did you really make me lunch?"

Hinata turned crimson, opened her mouth, closed it again, and finally managed, "Um, it's miso ramen? And, um, I'm sure it's not very good? And, um, onigiri."

"Someone made me food," said Naruto-kun.

"Yes, someone did," agreed Sasuke-kun, with exaggerated patience.

"A girl made me food." Naruto-kun had an odd expression on his face, almost like disbelief.

"Yes, a girl made you food," said Sasuke-kun, absently grinding his fist into Naruto-kun's skull again.

"Hinata made me food."

"Yes."

"Hinata made me ramen."

"That was quick," said Sasuke-kun. "Only five minutes. Wow."

"And I'm not asleep because those noogies hurt like hell."

"I could make you *sure* you're awake," offered Sasuke-kun.

"Screw you," said Naruto-kun, more or less amiably.

"Um," said Hinata, miserably, "I could give it to Akamaru --"

Naruto-kun's eyes bulged out. "WASTE RAMEN YOU MADE FOR ME ON A *DOG*?" He pulled out of Sasuke-kun's grip, snatched the box out of her hands and hugged it protectively.

Hinata blinked.

"Don't mind the idiot," said Sasuke-kun, hitting Naruto-kun again. "It's not used to people being nice to it."

Hinata pretended not to hear what Naruto-kun called Sasuke-kun. "Um," she said, not quite sure of what was going on anymore, but aware that Naruto-kun had taken her lunch.

Naruto-kun beamed at her. "Let's eat!"

Sasuke-kun rolled his eyes. "Loser."

"Shut up! Nobody made YOU ramen!" Naruto managed to keep the box clutched to his chest and grab her wrist. Hinata squeaked.

"I don't like ramen," said Sasuke-kun.

"RAMEN! For ME! That someone MADE!" Naruto began to pull her away.

Hinata blushed even redder. "I'm sure it's not --" she began.

"Later, Sasuke!" yelled Naruto-kun, his blue eyes blazing with something that Hinata hardly dared hope was delight. "Have fun eating sandwiches while I eat DELICIOUS RAMEN that HINATA MADE FOR ME!!"

The last Hinata saw of Sasuke-kun, he was watching them with an odd expression on his face.

It almost looked like a smile.